Leprechauns vs. Imps?

Word has that the holes in crumpets are made by Leprechauns wearing golf shoe but last time i saw a Leprechaun it was playing call of duty:rainbow gold. So how are the holes in the top of crumpets made? - Anonymous

Aah, I know exactly what you mean. Leprechauns do tend to slack. However, they do not make the holes in the top of crumpets. The holes in the top of crumpets are, of course, created by imps with tiny sawn-off shotguns which fire lumps of butter which make holes then melt. Obviously, the imps have to wear ear protection because of the continued exposure to high noise levels. This had led to a boom in the miniature ear muffs market in recent years.